Archives For influence

Power of Story

Dwayne Harapnuik —  April 3, 2019 — Leave a comment

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In the The Behavioural ScienceGuys video David Maxfield and Joseph Grenny make the argument:

When you are trying to influence people who need motivation and not information, don’t offer more information.

They warn us that if you offer to much information you can provoke people to reactance. The best way to motivate people is not with speeches but with questions.

Consider the following questions:

  • What is the goal/purpose/intent of your message?
  • Are you motivating people or are you just providing more information?
  • Are you targeting the head or the heart?
  • What is the last sentence or phrase that your viewer will hear?
  • What will they remember?
  • What is your call to action or do you even have a call to action?

In the Power of Words video a simple shift in words moves from sharing information to motivating people to share the blind man’s misfortune.

Finally, consider the heartfelt power of the following six word story attributed to Ernst Hemingway:

For sale: baby shoes, never worn

Are you using the power of images, video and words to influence and motivate people or are you just dumping more information?

References

Gardner, A. [Andrea Gardner]. (2010, February 23). The power of words [Video file]. Retrieved from https://youtu.be/Hzgzim5m7oU

For sale: baby shoes, never worn. (n.d.). In Wikipedia. Retrieved December 12, 2016 from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/For_sale:_baby_shoes,_never_worn

Maxfield, D., & Grenny, J. [VitalSmarts Video]. (2015, January 5). How to change people who don’t want to change: The behavioral science guys [Video file]. Retrieved from https://youtu.be/9ACi-D5DI6A

Most people would like to believe that we make informed decision based on the data or evidence and that if you want to convinces someone that your new idea, proposal, or plan is really in the best interest for everyone then all you need to do is present the facts in a clear and concise way. But what does the science or data behind this thinking really say. Robert Cialdini has been researching how and why people comply to requests and his popular book Influence: Science & Practice is the culmination of decades of research that outlines the six universal Principles of Persuasion that explains how to structure your requests. The following video summaries those six principles:

Cialdini’s most recent book Pre-Suasion: A Revolutionary Way to Influence and Persuade builds on his research into persuasion and reveals methods of priming your audience to receive your message more openly.

If we really want to have people adopt our ideas and move forward with our plans then we must look past this notion that all we need to present the data or evidence and believe that people make informed decisions solely on the information. Not only will the head not go where the heart hasn’t been the head is open to influence from many other sources so we really need to recognize that just presenting the information or more information is not enough.

Influence Not Control

The following is a copy and adaptation of Todd Henry’s wonderful post Why great leaders aim for influence not control in which I have replaced a few key words to change the focus from leadership and organizations to teacher(s) and classrooms or learning environments. Henry does an exceptional job of pointing out how important it is to let go control and use influence rather then reigns to get people to move in the right direction.

Why great teachers aim for influence not control

“Control is all about my needs, my ego, and my desire to feel like the center of my environment. I wish to impose my will on everyone around me, and expect them to fall in line with how I believe things should be… we should instead be striving for influence.” – Die Empty

I’ll admit that as a parent, one of my biggest challenges is letting my children make mistakes. Instead, I want to swoop in and help them do everything right the first time. Sometimes this is for my own convenience. (Honestly, I don’t want to have to wait for them to try something five times.) Of course, I know this is not good. In order to grow, children have to make a lot of mistakes, and learn their limits. They have to become comfortable with uncertainty, and understand that there is sometimes pain on the other side of effort.

In different ways, I believe that the same principle applies in classroom or learning environments. I regularly hear stories of teachers’ grasping tightly to the reins of their students, and closely controlling every aspect of their behavior. They have to approve every decision, manage every interaction, and oversee every collaboration. In the end, these control-freak teachers are actually doing much more harm to the students than good.

I believe that in any area of life in which the goal is to multiply your effort over time, you should be attempting to achieve influence, not control.

Influence is leading by vision, but control is leading by sight.

When your goal is to grow your influence over time, you are working toward a long-arc goal, and you’re willing to accept some short-term failure in order to achieve success in the end. When you lead by control, any shortcoming is intolerable, which causes students in your learning environments to adopt a “wait until you tell me what to do” mindset.
Any rules and guidelines should attempt to inform decisions, not to control and tightly restrict them. Your objective is to teach students to think for themselves.

“Simple, clear purpose and principles give rise to complex and intelligent behavior. Complex rules and regulations give rise to simple and stupid behavior.” – Dee Hock, founder of VISA

Influence is situation agnostic, but control is situation specific.

On a related note, leading with influence means that students will learn principles that they can apply broadly to any number of similar circumstances. Control is always situation specific, because the objective is to ensure that behavior in a given circumstance is acceptable. Again, this will train students to look to you for answers rather than training them to be resourceful. Influencers teach principles; control freaks deal in absolutes.
Influence is about care, but control is about self-interest.

When you genuinely care about someone, you want to do your best to ensure their continued success even when they are no longer under your instructions. You want them to learn to take on increasing amounts of responsibility and to grow in their own influence. Control, one the other hand, is all about ensuring that they don’t embarrass you or stain your record in the here and now. You just want to ensure that they don’t mess everything up, regardless of whether they learn anything they can carry forward.

“I start with the premise that the function of leadership is to produce more leaders, not more followers.” – Ralph Nader

Influence is about spreading praise, but control is about claiming credit.

When you lead by influence, you will dilute credit for any given initiative. The student gets acclaim for any successes. Control is ultimately about putting yourself at the center of everything, which means that you believe that you are the only person capable of making the project successful.

“It’s amazing how much you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit.”
– Harry S. Truman

Controlling behavior never leads to results beyond your own grasp.However, when you are able to achieve influence, you multiply your efforts and reproduce your values and principles in the lives of others.

Aim for influence, not control.

References:

Henry, T. (2016, August 26). Why Great Leaders Aim For Influence, Not Control. Retrieved September 2, 2016, from http://www.toddhenry.com/leading/great-leaders-aim-influence-not-control/