Study: Spending time with Dad good for teen self-esteem – CNN.com
I have always believed that after my responsibility of being a good husband to my wife, my other number one responsibility is to help my boys grow into strong men of character who can contribute to society. This is a responsibility that I have to take seriously and over the years most of the choices that I have made with respect to where we live, the work I do, and how I spend my time have focused on ensuring that I am available for my family. James Dobson of Focus on the Family stated that:
morality, values and beliefs are not taught rather they are caught
and it is very difficult to catch these foundational traits if there is no one around for children to catch them from.
It is reassuring to have one’s beliefs confirmed by thorough research. The CNN article points to a recent Penn State study that found”
The more time spent alone with their fathers, the higher their self-esteem; the more time with their dads in a group setting, the better their social skills.
The study also reported that one-on-one time with Dads started to drop at age 15 and that
Dads get in just over an hour of one-on-one time with first and second-born kids each week.
This is very sobering but it is also very useful to know that your children need you as much if not more as they move into their teens. With my recent change in my employment status and the exploration of opportunities, I have been considering the wisdom of NOT moving back into an executive suite position. My two boys are 14 and 16 and I am realizing that my boys need me now as much as they needed me when they were younger, then it may be wise to make sure that my next position or project doesn’t take me away from my boys when they need me the most.
It may also be wise to make sure that over the next 3 years, I create the best learning environment for my family and boys and ensure that they have as much time with me as they need to grow into men of character.
Unfortunately fatherless homes are a major contributor to many problems we face in society. It is never to early to start spending time with your son.
All great advice as my son is about to turn 6 months of age. I am reminded of a a mens group that I was a part of mentioned that the highest crime rates around the world are always accompanied by the statistic of an absent father epidemic. Fathers are very important and the more time we can spend with our children the better.
This is all good advice. The CNN article reflects my experience (my kids are in their late 20s. But the amount of time they spent (or wanted to spend) with me dropped rapidly when they reached 15 or 16. They spent much more time with their peers from that point on.
Implication: If you want to spend some time with your kids, now is the time to do it! And from now on, each hour with them needs to be high quality time.